How to Know When It’s Time to Leave Your Job — Therapy For Black Girls

We’ve all been at that point in life where we are starting to feel disconnected from our work but struggle to identify the underlying cause. The ‘superwoman’ schema we have been socialized into as Black women often lead us to dismiss these feelings and resort to “pushing through.” But what happens when we decide to lay down our invisible cape and acknowledge the distress we feel? Time and again, the unmasking of our emotions in the workplace has led to detrimental and even life-threatening impacts. The fear of these outcomes often relegates us to a place of silence. Nonetheless, recent trends and the increase in mental health awareness have created a murmur among the silence. There has been a rise in the number of Black women who are self-advocating and learning to confront these unique challenges in toxic work environments. Despite this upward swing in advocacy, there has been an increase in resistance and lack of accountability for jobs to offer support.

RELATED: Negotiating While Black: Empowering The Voice In The Workplace

As a Black female therapist, I have spent much time analyzing wellness in the workplace and taking inventory of the systemic barriers we face when we attempt to ask for help. According to Lean In and McKinsey and Company (2021), “By almost any measure, Black women are facing disproportionately high barriers in the workplace. They are heavily impacted by bias in hiring and promotions; Black women are promoted at a significantly lower rate than white women at the first step up to manager. They experience more microaggressions than other groups of women. They are also less likely to report that their managers check in on their well-being or help them balance priorities and deadlines.” This is an incomplete list of some of the systemic oppression we face existing at the intersection of racial and gender biases. The fight to be seen, heard, and valued at work can become exhausting, especially when you feel that you are in the fight alone. With that in mind, it is important to establish markers that help you identify when it’s time to move on from a job.  As Black women, we deserve to know the peace of trading in our swords for our sanity and our strength for softness. 

So, let’s talk through some markers:

RELATED: Session 351: Navigating A Career Change

Repetitive Injury Leading to Chronic Stress

Often, when we work in toxic environments, we are exposed to repetitive injury by way of microaggressions, being overlooked and underpaid, or feeling psychologically or physically unsafe. This tends to lead to feelings of burnout and disconnection at the job.  If you notice these signs, listen, and identify them as a marker. Repetitive injury without any attempt from the workplace to value you is a telltale sign. 

Dismissing or Denying Your Advocacy

Once you start noticing the repetitive injury, you may attempt to advocate for yourself by brining up the issues to leadership within the organization. If your self-advocacy is met with consistent resistance from the organization, you may want to consider leaving. Research shows that historically, when people of color raise an issue within the organization, they attempt to shift the responsibility of problem solving onto the person of color, perpetuating the systemic racism that has already been at play. Lack of accountability and an unsupportive response from your job after you’ve asked for help is another marker that it may be time to leave.

RELATED: Session 350: Black Women Navigating the Glass Cliff

Retaliation After Speaking Up

This marker can be a common fear that keeps Black women silent when we are suffering in our workplace. The concern that speaking up could lead to retaliation and being targeted and deemed as the “problem”. Retaliation at work can be subtle or blatant and some key indicators of retaliation can include denied opportunities, bullying or harassment, demotion, excessive micromanaging, or even reassignment after advocating for yourself. Although this is a marker that can be daunting, remember not to let it deter you. Always feel empowered to speak up and recognize the signs when it’s time to exit. 

While it is important to acknowledge that this is not the all-encompassing experience of Black women in the workplace, it is equally as important to highlight the common narratives that exist and discuss ways to continue to support our well-being. If you have been experiencing any of these markers, don’t be afraid to reach out for support beyond your work environment. Whether you are looking for professional support to help guide you through your experience, or simply a community of women who can relate, encourage and uplift, Therapy for Black Girls is a great resource for you. 

References