Why I Gave Myself Permission To Take A Break!

Do you suffer from mom guilt? What about struggling with wanting to vacation, do more for your career, business or just chill alone but feel as though you aren’t allowed to because of all of the people “needing you”. I struggle with this also but have slowly been working on being able to let go of that guilt and that is why I gave myself permission to take a break. In this blog we will explore reasons why you should too.

Rest…What’s That!

Yes. Rest! What a simple concept yet so difficult for women to take. I was recently reminded of how important rest is when I had the privilege to travel with my husband and children to Ghana. I was born in Canada, however that is where my family is from so sharing my roots with my husband and children was a no brainer the day my first child was born. But yet, I struggled to take the break I so desperately needed.

What’s going on Tasha?

Much like everyone else, these last few years have been difficult. Working in healthcare, there is a constant level of stress that I personally don’t think will change for a while. With the rise of illness, obesity and the awareness of medical bias, being a provider that cares about their patients is a daily dose of adrenaline. As a result of my experience in outpatient physical therapy at a major hospital system, I decided to start a business to merge my two worlds, Physical therapy and fitness! (because I have so much time and energy to do both!) The thing is, my business allows me to provide health education and advice on safe exercises to a community of women I would not otherwise be able to reach through social media.

Reality

Over the last year I had to face the reality that my parents are aging and not the same vibrant people I once knew not too long ago. Their age related ailments are not their fault but par of the course. Last year I had a difficult struggle with trying to be their daughter, physical therapist and caregiver all whilst living 1 hour away. I was driving to appointments, making phone calls to providers and scheduling in home care.

My mom went through a significant change in her mobility after surgical repair of a broken ankle and I found myself packing weekend bags and sleeping at their house. I could not let go of the fact that the one child (out of 4) that they sent to grad school to become a physical therapist. The one that helps everyone else when they are going through these same difficulties was the same one who wasn’t there for them. This sandwich generation is hard. Your young children need you as their mother, your husband needs you to be his wife and support, yet you are worried about your parents who don’t live near you.

You Deserve This

I needed a break so bad but after being in this cycle for over a year, I didn’t think I deserved it. But the more and more my parents had issues, the more I was reminded that time waits for no one and the pull for my children and husband to meet the revered elders nagged me. But yet, I stalled. I waited until almost December to request time off work and put in for the kids to miss school. My body, mind, and soul were screaming for this, but man, letting go and trusting the process (and God) was a bit of a tussle. So He sent reinforcements.

It’s Happening

“Your parents are ok. Book the flight!”
I will never forget the day. It was now January 2024 and I met a young couple expecting their first baby. I was the patient’s physical therapist that day and it so happened that they were put on my schedule to make up for one that she missed with their primary therapist. Now, that is not unusual in our clinic but I know that God works all the time and will send people you least expect to remind you of what you need to do. I am treating my patient and her husband asks me a question about my background. I tell him a quick history and then say, “I’m trying to go this March! It has been 10 years and my kids and husband have never been.”

He looked at me and said, “why are you trying? Why don’t you just go. Do you have a ticket?” I explained briefly my dilemma with leaving the area with my parents needing care while also listing all the caregivers and support that they have. This stranger said, “your parents are ok. Your brother is there. Book the flight”. It was so straight, direct and the “permission” I needed to let go of the worry that something might happen while I was gone and to just go. Did I say that I was a little bit of a control freak? No…? Fast forward to now. We went for 3 weeks and my parents were fine. In fact they were happy that their grandchildren and son-in law “went home”, met our entire family and learned our culture. “Now they know where they are from!”

Letting go!

It’s something I am preaching to myself too. The essence of this trip transcended mere relaxation; it was a lesson in releasing stress and overcoming burnout. After we landed in Ghana, it took my body 4 days to finally let go. I mean, I could feel the tension winding up in me so much that my lower back was hurting but then, I embraced the early morning sun and started doing mindful movement on the patio. I packed my bands, my tripod and TRX straps (because I was getting content this trip. Imaging TRX in the jungle!).

I found myself being very content with daily yoga (HOT YOGA…85 degrees at 8am! Welcome to Ghana!). Sitting in stillness, praying and being in reverence of the privilege of this full circle moment. Remember earlier when I said that this trip was a no brainer from the time my first son was born? My parents started taking us home when I was in elementary school. Now here I am, with 2 boys and an American husband at that! The journey was transformative. Letting go and trusting-easier said than done but oh so necessary.

Your Turn

So Mommas! When do you know that it is time to give your body and mind a break? Our body speaks to us and it’s important that we listen. Sometimes physical pain can be related to something deeper. Here are a few signs and symptoms that may indicate that you need rest.

Stressed? Your Body Might Be Showing These Signs:

● Fatigue: Feeling drained even after getting enough sleep?

● Sleep Issues: Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep?

● Pain & Stiffness: Achy muscles or joints that linger?

● Appetite Changes: Eating more or less than usual?

● Headaches: Frequent headaches or migraines?

● Jaw Clenching: Notice you’re clenching your jaw?

● Tight Muscles: Feeling constantly tense or tight?

These are signs and symptoms I have seen within the patients and clients I serve but if you are feeling any of these, please seek advice from your health care professional.

How To Make It Work

Now I realize that we all can’t just pack up and go when life is lifeing, but here are a few tangible ways you can incorporate the “how to” into your busy mom lives to help balance family, work, you and your health!

● Set Boundaries: Define work hours and stick to them as much as possible. Utilize “Do Not Disturb” settings on your phone and computer during family time.

● Delegate and Outsource: Ask for help! Enlist your partner, children (age-appropriate tasks), friends, or hire help for household chores, childcare, or business tasks.

● Plan and Prioritize: Use calendars, to-do lists, and weekly schedules to organize your time effectively. Prioritize tasks and focus on the most important things first.

● Embrace Batching: Group similar tasks together to improve efficiency. For example, cook meals for multiple days on weekends, schedule errands for one day, or handle emails in batches.

● Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or professionals. Talk to your partner about sharing responsibilities and seek childcare or cleaning services if needed.

● Communicate and Be Realistic: Communicate your schedule and needs to your family, colleagues, and clients. Be realistic about what you can achieve and don’t try to do it all.

● Focus on Quality Time: It’s not about the quantity of time, but the quality of your interactions with family and work. Be present and engaged during work and family time.

● Take Care of Yourself: Schedule time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. A healthy and happy you can better manage everything else.

● Be Flexible: Things don’t always go according to plan. Be prepared to adjust your schedule and be flexible when unexpected events arise.

● Celebrate Your Wins: Take time to celebrate your accomplishments, big and small. This will help you stay motivated and positive.

Remember, finding the perfect balance is a journey, not a destination. Be kind to yourself, adapt your strategies as needed, and enjoy the ride!

~Mommi NaTasha~

NaTasha is a fellow Mombassador. She is an Orthopedic Physical Therapist  at The University of Michigan Health. She is also the owner of Black Star Physical Therapy and Wellness LLC, and Certified Group Fitness and TRX Instructor. You can find her online at @blackstar_ptwellness .