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Home Mental Health

Empowering The Voice In The Workplace — Therapy For Black Girls

Black Evo by Black Evo
March 25, 2024
in Mental Health
0
Empowering The Voice In The Workplace — Therapy For Black Girls

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It’s been reported that those who chose not to negotiate do so for multiple factors, including a lack of confidence, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, not knowing how, or feeling satisfied with the original offer (Adelman-Elavsky & Cullen, 2020).  While women in general are likely to be paid lower salaries, the pay gap is even larger for Black women – “earning 63 cents for every dollar earned by White men” (Miller, 2020). The gender and racial gap of salary has significant impacts on emotional and mental well-being and due to historical legacies of enslavement, Black women can suffer in silence, internalize negative cognitions, and end up “playing nice”. Given these factors, women can lose out on additional compensation (Adelman-Elavsky & Cullen, 2020) – several thousand or over a million dollars- in their career.  

RELATED: What Kind of Support Do You Need from Your Leaders to Feel Supported at Work?

Regardless of your field, industry, or role…You have a right to ask. 

I have read several books (that you can find at the end of this article) that have helped me approach crucial conversations such as negotiating salary. It hasn’t been straightforward but has gotten less threatening over time.  Crucial conversations are opportunities of growth for the individual and those observing. It’s a risk but one worth taking. While the stakes and emotions are high, it can build confidence, esteem, and respect in the process. Now that we are ready to learn more, check out these considerations below to help in your negotiation process:  

Knowing why you are negotiating –Knowing your why always goes a long way and can increase motivation and enthusiasm instead of fear and intimidation. Consider the outcome you are looking to achieve and plan your strategy from there. Is it important to negotiate because you want an increased salary? Do you want to get practice negotiating? Do you want to set a standard for others that come after you? Whether you want $2000 or $20,000 more, your why is worth pursuing. Knowing your why will help you determine your what. 

RELATED: Session 350: Black Women Navigating the Glass Cliff

Knowing what you should negotiate– Some people don’t know exactly what to negotiate. How much should I ask for? How much is too much? Should I be content with my offer? (Especially if it’s a number I have never had) Are there other things I can ask for? I suggest thinking about your financial plans and what your salary goals are within the next 1-5 years. Comparing salaries or talking to a mentor in your field could be helpful while also keeping in mind salaries may differ via state and regions. I also learned that negotiation doesn’t just mean money- it could mean asking for other items. For instance, if you are relocating, it could mean negotiating a relocation package. It is worth asking these questions and try not to talk yourself out of it. 

Knowing how you negotiate – I keep hearing that negotiating can be fun and exhilarating. While I am still waiting to feel that way 100%, I believe this is true. Asking for more can be intimidating but also is a whole mood. Look, stepping into an era where you are knowing your worth and building a professional identity (*snaps fingers*). You go girl! Three things to consider in your “how to” are your approach, language, and timing. This question might help- How do you practice asserting your voice in confidence within your daily life and how can you apply that to the negotiation process? 

Knowing when and when not to negotiate– This goes back to your goals and understanding what it is that you are looking for. I will also say even when you are content with your salary, try to practice pausing, asking questions, or requesting to revisit the topic at a later date. You don’t have to say yes in the same conversation. Ask questions in the dialogue and you may learn new things that may not be initially offered. Knowing when and when not to negotiate is also when you have that gut feeling – not the one that shuts you down – but the one that tells you something must be done- or not.  

Let’s pause. Is this an experience you can resonate with? Maybe this isn’t a personal experience but one you heard about indirectly? Maybe you are in a circumstance where you want to negotiate but not sure? Maybe this article isn’t for you per say but someone you know. Wherever you find yourself upon reading this- save and share this article. Now let’s share resources!

Resources:

First and foremost, I have personally found it useful having Black women and men in my community that I could have a conversation with regarding my specific questions and respective field. They have coached me, provided resources, and empowered my voice. Don’t ignore an opportunity to role play this out either! Practice will be your best teacher. I would also suggest looking into online resources shared or created by diverse scholars who may have groups or skill-based programs targeting Black women specifically. 

Additionally, check out these books:

  • Negotiating While Black- Damali Peterman 
  • The Memo: What women of color need to know to secure a seat at the table- Minda Harts 
  • We should all be millionaires – Rachel Rodgers 
  • Never Spilt the difference – Christoper Voss and Tahl Raz
  • HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Negotiation – Harvard Business Review 
  • Crucial Conversations – Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson (and more) 
  • The Art of Negotiation – Tim Castle 

Remember, regardless of what your field, industry, or role, you have a right to ask. 

References:

Gregory, S. T. (2001). Black faculty women in the academy: History, status, and future. Journal of Negro Education, 124-138.

Megan Adelman-Elavsky, Marissa Cullen, A practical guide for new practitioners: Considerations when negotiating your first job offer, American Journal of Health-System Pharmacy, Volume 77, Issue 12, 15 June 2020, Pages 923–926, https://doi.org/10.1093/ajhp/zxaa092

Miller, S. (2020, June 11). Black Workers Still Earn Less than their white counterparts. SHRM.  Black Workers Still Earn Less than Their White Counterparts (shrm.org)




Dara Winley, PhD


author

Dr. Dara Winley is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Assistant Professor and Core Faculty of
Couple and Family Therapy at Adler University. She utilizes a systemic and attachment-based
orientation in her practice while incorporating diverse treatment approaches amongst her diverse
caseload which includes children and their families, couples, and individuals. She works from a range of
presenting issues including major depression, anxiety, unresolved trauma including racial trauma, family
conflict, couple distress, and a particular interest on intergenerational trauma in Black families. She
specializes in conflict management and helps clients achieve healthy functioning in couple relationships
and friendships. Dr. Winley is a member and Approved Supervisor of American Association of Marriage
and Family Therapists. Her private practice is based in Chicago, IL and she is currently accepting new
clients.



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